Derrick

This is Derrick. On Monday we practiced reading using The Cat in the Hat while we had some free time in between jigger education classes. Although he's 12 years old, Derrick struggled to read this simple book because his schooling is not as effective as it should be. I wasn't sure if he was enjoying reading or resenting me for making him practice. I found out the next day though when he tugged on my shirt after class and asked if we could read again smile emoticon 

I had to say goodbye to this nugget and his friends today as they were resettled from the outreach house into their homes. I'm thankful to Derrick for showing me that kids all over the world are hungry for knowledge and deserve to be fed. 

Challenge Week- Day 7

Well there are some days in life when you just don’t feel inspired and today is one of those for me. I had a great day helping to organize the closet of clothing donations at the outreach house and working on jigger education curriculum development, but I’m just not feeling like I have much to offer y’all today. My amazing childhood dance teacher Hayes used to always tell us: “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” So I’ll spare you all from having to read some nonsense I threw together because I felt like I had to finish out my “challenge week” and just thank you for reading my stories and being open to the challenges. Your feedback has meant so much to me :) I’ll continue to add more similar posts to the blog as I continue to learn from living in this beautiful country :)

Challenge Week- Day 6

One thing that I love about Uganda is that it’s not weird to greet a stranger on the street as if you’ve been best friends since your diaper days. In fact, I’ve heard from some Ugandan friends that in certain situations it’s actually rude if you don’t do so. This afternoon on my walk from the Sole Hope guesthouse to the babies’ home that I visit sometimes, I passed a group of three young Ugandan women walking in the same direction and as I passed one of them said “hello.” I was a little taken aback because I had been kind of in my own world, but I responded and asked them their names- Kathy, Kathy and Tina. I asked which grade they’re in, how old they are and what kinds of careers they want to have (Senior class level 5, 19 years old and development studies and business). They asked me which country I’m from (they guessed correctly!) and about what I’m doing here in Jinja. I explained that I’m working for Sole Hope and though they hadn’t heard of it, they thanked me for being here and for the work that I’m helping to do. As we parted ways, I couldn’t help but beam because it felt so good to make a connection with people that I have no immediately apparent reason to connect with. I love that people here don’t really need a reason to reach out other than that we’re all human and we’re all worth being known.

Today’s challenge: Take a few minutes to think about how our communities might be different if people were to greet strangers on the street, at Starbucks, the park, the movie theater, the grocery store, a concert as if they were old friends. And if you feel so inspired, reach out. What’s the worst that could happen?

Challenge Week- Day 5

Growing up in the church I’ve always heard the sermons, verses and parables about forgiveness. But it’s one thing to hear and another to absorb. I struggle with forgiveness sometimes because I allow myself to get stuck on the question: "how do I know this person won’t hurt me again?” The pastor at the church I went to today came at the idea of forgiveness from a slightly different angle than the one I’m used to. Instead of saying “IF someone causes you pain or harm,” he said “WHEN someone causes you pain or harm.” I think I tend to believe that everyone has everyone else’s best interests at heart so that when someone does something hurtful to me or others, I treat it as a huge deal- I want them to apologize; I want to understand why they did what they did; I want them to realize why they should never do it again. I'm starting to see why thinking this way isn’t necessarily the best way to handle an offense. The pastor today said: “Being together means we will inevitably step on each other’s toes.” He wanted us to see that in the process of building real relationships we have to go through some hurtful experiences. If we don’t, there is no depth to the relationship. We never get to witness the other person’s full character. Our hearts were made to be broken. And they were also made to love and to rejoice. If our hearts are never broken, how can they ever rejoice? When your heart is harboring bitterness, there is not enough room left for you to live fully. You are captive to the person whom you feel bitter towards. To forgive doesn’t mean you are excusing the person who hurt you or, in more extreme cases, that justice should not be served. Justice can be an important part of reaching a place where you feel you can forgive. Forgiveness has to be intentional, but it does NOT have to be simple and it does NOT have to be quick. It may take an hour or a week, but it is okay if it takes a year or a decade. The important thing is that it happens.

Challenge: think of someone in your life who has hurt you, directly or indirectly. Ask yourself how you can get to a point where when you ask yourself "have I given up the desire to punish this person?" the answer is "yes."

Challenge Week- Day 4

She greets me every morning with a huge smile and hug, patiently teaches me about Ugandan culture and thanks me for asking her to kill a cockroach in our bathroom because I’m too big of a wuss to do it myself. Her name is Joyce and she works tirelessly to keep the Sole Hope guest house clean. Today Joyce told me that her sister and brother-in-law are traveling down to Jinja from her hometown, Paidha, in the north to visit her. “Oh that’s so exciting!” I exclaimed. “How long has it been since you’ve seen your sister?” “Five years” Joyce responded.

Joseph Kony used Joyce’s hometown as the headquarters for his Lord’s Resistance Army in the early 2000s. Fifteen years ago, Joyce and her husband made an extremely dangerous and brave decision to escape Kony’s reign by moving to Jinja. Her younger brother was captured by the LRA and she hasn’t heard from him in twelve years. Her mother and remaining six siblings were unable to escape Paidha for various reasons.

My conversation with Joyce today was one of the most humbling I’ve had in a while. Her life is so full of pain, loss and suffering that I can barely even begin to comprehend, yet she has the brightest smile and most optimistic attitude every single day. Today’s challenge is nothing novel, in fact I’m sure we’ve all heard it countless times (thanks John Mayer), but somehow we still seem to forget: say what you need to say. Tell the people you love that you love them instead of assuming they know. Make sure they know that you are grateful you get to spend time with them more frequently than once every five years.

Challenge Week- Day 3

Sunday I visited an incredible organization just outside of Jinja called Arise Talents Uganda. The founder, Dickson, and volunteers teach kids from families who are struggling financially how to dance, paint, sing and weave to show them a way to make a living. I love spending time with them because they are SO full of energy, joy and spirit. You can’t walk into the compound without being bombarded with at least fifteen hugs. It’s awesome! After the kids tried to teach me how to paint a giraffe (didn’t go so well), they pulled me inside the classroom and began asking questions about my family and life in America like: “Do people rear animals in America?” “Do you have bananas in America?” and “Does everyone go to church in America?” After each question, they would all giggle nervously as if they were embarrassed by their questions. I remember walking out of their gates being blown away by the initiative and bravery with which they asked these questions. It was clear from the giggling that they knew that I was kind of caught off guard by their questions, but they asked anyway. 

Today I took some inspiration from my Arise friends and asked a Ugandan a question that was somewhat uncomfortable for me to ask: “What are your feelings about using the term ‘developing nation’ to describe Uganda?” Having taken anthropology classes, I was wary of posing the question because I know that terms like “third-world,” developing country,” “global south” can carry a degree of political baggage and therefore can be perceived as offensive. But I was genuinely curious and realized that sometimes it’s okay to risk possibly offending someone by asking a question IF you’re doing so with good intentions and in a considerate way. We ended up having a great conversation and he explained that he doesn’t mind “developing nation” because he knows that Uganda has a lot of progress to make, but history shows that a better overall standard of living is possible over time. 

Challenge: think of a question that you're genuinely interested in the answer to for someone who comes from a different background, culture or lifestyle. Determine the most considerate way to ask and do it with an open mind.

Challenge Week- Day 2

I've struggled my whole life with saying "no." I've always found energy and joy in constantly moving, giving, doing. Thanks to some friends I made last week, I'm learning that this drive is one that stems from my perfectionist personality (the enneagram is real- Google it). I am wired to feel like I want to and am capable of doing and being and giving my best at all times, for all people, in all places. Part of me loves this about myself because it means I'm inclined to live life fully, but another part of me is beginning to see how this drive can be destructive. When I can never find the strength to say "no," then I'm probably spreading myself too thin and I end up disappointing people I've made commitments to or giving only 50% because I'm too tired to put in my best effort. 

Living in Uganda is rocking my perfectionist world by showing me just how vast the need is, not just here but in every country in various ways. The difference here is that my appearance signals that I'm not Ugandan and therefore I'm perceived as being more able to help. If I were to actually believe that I could give everyone everything they asked me for or put effort into every cause, I would explode. The need is just too big. No one can take it on alone. But I'm learning the beautiful thing is that I don't have to. By being intentional about only saying "yes" to the things I feel I have the time and ability for, I'm allowing myself the opportunity to better serve and allowing others the opportunity to do the same.

Today's challenge is most applicable for people more yes-inclined like myself, but anyone can try it! The next time someone extends an invitation or asks a favor, listen to your initial response (probably "yes") and take a moment to consider why it is your initial response. If the answer to this question is anything other than "because God's given me the desire and ability to" then consider answering differently.